Passivity = Death.
What’s the difference?
Notice how boring this blog is if I do not actively write anything interesting. It is as if the blog dies before it starts.
The nice thing about blog posts like this vs. facebook posts is that I can edit them as I feel so inclined. So someday there may be only cogent thoughts refined here in this repository of randomness. In the meantime I am content to write even my babblings.
The novel Gilead is written as though it were an extended letter written by an old and terminally ill father to his 7yr old son. This father wants to put into this letter everything he would have wished he could tell the boy, if he could have lived to see the boy’s maturity. And so he writes from his heart about himself, his thoughts, feelings, convictions, observations, and wisdom of many years, all in the context of attempting to write a meaningful family history for the boy.
These are the kind of things I want to write here. Meaningful, significant things that are worth reading. Things that I would want my children to read, to know me better as 25-yr-old-me with all my struggles and adventures and spiritual journeying.
Lord, give me wisdom not to waste my words. Let me speak truth from my inmost parts. Fill me with truth and wisdom, with bravest fire, but with love and grace, lest I run this race in vain. Let me continue till the end, faithful and active. Let not my soul die and in its passivity be carried along by the currents of this world which have no end but to fade into vapid entropy, a vast nothingness of self-dissolution. For this life is truly but a breath, and all the vain pursuits of this life are but a chasing after the wind.
I love you, O Lord, my strength. Though enemies encamp on all sides, I will not be moved, for you are my rock and my fortress. I will be passive in you. I will die to myself daily. I will crucify the old man in me, I will take up my cross and follow you to death. I will live in the new life you give; I will not walk in my strength. So if I do anything, it is not I, but your spirit working in me and through me. I surrender myself and all my passions to your will, O my God, my Savior and Lord. Amen.