I wonder.

I wonder many things. Perhaps I should write about them. I have many thoughts. Perhaps I should share them.

I had a Xanga blog in high school. That was fun. I have not done any regular blogging since then. 7 years is a long time. Every cell of my body has replaced itself. I am a completely renewed person in that sense. But also spiritually I am a very different person in my soul. In what ways am I the same, yet different? What is the thread of my identity? I wonder.

I would like to write interesting and life changing things. I would like to see God face to face also. I would like to read more great literature so that my soul and my writing would be enriched.

Gilead is a great novel. I am being enriched by it. But still I am poor and needy. Lord, come to me.

I have a friend whose blog is entitled my love is loud. It’s a good name. Her love is loud. I think that is very special and beautiful. I want my love to be loud too.

Lord, I want to see. Give me this water, that I may thirst no more. Let there bubble out of my heart springs of living water for eternal life.

I’m just me. God is God. I am but a man. Lord, have mercy on me, a sinner.

I want to be real. Thoughts are messy. Disjunct. Free flowing. They don’t always make sense or follow a structure. But I think there is a meaning behind it all.

God is God. God is Good. I love you God. I do.

I used to look down on people who spoke in this way. I did not understand. How can you love God whom you have not seen? But I love you God. I do. And now you have made me into a very peculiar person indeed. But no matter. I am yours, and you are mine, and nothing can separate me from this love. This love is a flaming fire, jealous and consuming. And many waters cannot quench this love. It is the way of lovers to act most peculiarly. And so here I am. Here I stand, I can do no other.

Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of life.

Brothers and sisters, hear and believe the good news. In Christ, we are God’s forgiven people. This is truth. This is life. There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. In Christ you’re secure, you’re loved and accepted.

O Lord, open our eyes that we may see wonders in your word! May these words not be foolishness to those who hear!

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